This is Goodbye
by Special Agent FUNK
Summary: Paul is having a hard time when Shawn retires. Songfic. One-shot.


**A/N:** Idea taken from_ Sinfully Sined_, who has a 'fic' called _'Wrestling story ideas'_.

**Idea**: 'Song Fic. So Long Goodbye by 10 Years with Hunter and Shawn saying goodbye after Shawn retiring.'  
It's a nice idea, and it's not detailed, so I can make it into whatever I want, use my own imagination and I don't have to stick to many facts.

... That song eh, it makes me wanna cry. So no Triple T; Queen of Randomness today, more like Triple T goes emotional.

R&R and enjoy my loves.

* * *

I stared at him, trying to figure out what he was going to do next. He saw me look and smiled, making me turn my gaze away from him.

_Stop smiling you fool._

He was always smiling, but he never actually seemed to mean it. At least not in the past few weeks.  
"I really don't get it." I mumbled.  
"Paul, there's no need to understand, you just need to accept it."

_I hate you.  
_

**Keep changing your mind  
Like clouds in the sky  
Love me when you're high  
Leave me when you cry  
I know it all takes time  
Like a river running dry when the sun's too bright  
**

"Paul?"  
I looked up. "What?"

Shawn finally stopped packing the things he wanted to take home and sat down next to me, next to me but far away enough to be able to dodge if I tried to touch him.  
"You knew it was coming," He said, "you actually had plenty of time to get used to the idea."  
"Oh come on, you're... You're you, you never do what you say, you always change your mind." I said annoyed. "You always change your mind at least ten times."

Shawn sighed, I could see he was starting to lose his patience with me.

_Serves you right._

"I have to do this." He said, "Not only for myself."  
"You're just running away." I replied. "You're running away from something that could be perfect, but no, you don't want perfection, you want peace and quiet."  
"Everyone wants peace and quiet." Shawn said angrily.  
"I don't, I want perfection, and in order to retrieve perfection we must make sacrifices."  
Shawn nodded. "That's the whole point Paul, I don't want to make those sacrifices."  
"You're running away because you're afraid of what people will say about you... You don't care about sacrifices, you only care about your pride."

Shawn stood up with the speed of light and continued packing his belongings.

"You'll live with it." He growled.

_Sure I will, but will you?  
_

**So long, this is goodbye  
May we meet again in another life  
Like strangers passing by  
May we see clearly in a different light  
**

"I hate you."

Immediately I realised I actually said that out loud, and I was about to run far away from there when Shawn blocked my way.

"I know," He said, "love and hate go awfully well together sometimes."  
I remained silent, if you asked me all words considering this whole ordeal had been spoken already.  
"Paul, I'm sorry... But it's not meant to be."  
I snickered. "You don't know."  
"I do know."  
"Give me one good reason."

Shawn leaned against the doorpost, staring at me, thinking. "You know why, I have... - _we_ have families."  
"They'll cope." I said annoyed, I was sick of hearing that excuse.  
"It's not that simple Paul."  
"There are more roads that lead to Rome you know?" I nagged.  
"I know, and maybe we'll find one someday... But not today."  
"Someday?" I asked hopefull. He never said 'someday' before.  
Shawn shakes his head. "Don't get your hopes up Paul." He said, walking back in.

_Then why say something like that?  
_

**Keep dodging lights  
Like a thief in the night  
The sun will rise and expose all our lies  
So why deny that you and I lead different lives  
The rivers from your eyes can't change my mind  
**

I wasn't sure what to do when Shawn started packing again, so I decided to walk away. It wouldn't matter what I said, no meant no, and Shawn told me that plenty of times.

I encountered Glen on my way out and started to walk a little faster. I didn't feel like having an encounter with the Big Red Machine. He liked to stick his nose in other people's business, and he would sure as hell talk me into going back and finish my conversation with Shawn.

"Paul?" He said when I passed him. "Are you jogging?"  
"Yeah, gotta work out eh?" I yelled over my shoulder, before disappearing outside.

Only a few seconds later I realised Glen was coming after me, yelling he was coming too.

_Are you kidding me?_

"Shawn's leaving in five minutes," he said, "this is the worst time ever to run off you know?"  
"Shut up." I snapped, speeding up a little more.  
"He's leaving in five Paul, is this supposed to be it?" Glen yelled. "He's hurting too you know?"

I stopped running and Glen nearly ran into me, not expecting me to stop.  
"Good." Glen said content. "Now turn around and run back the way you came from."  
"I can't, I said -"  
"You say so much." Glen interrupted me. "Now for once listen to me and go back."  
"But I told him I-"  
"You told him what?"  
"I told him I hate him." I said. I closed my eyes, tears burning behind my eyelids.

_I'm not going to cry, The Game doesn't cry._

Glen saw me struggling and started to push me towards the building, where I saw Shawn who appeared to be ready to leave.

"I gotta go soon." Shawn said when Glen left us to be alone.  
"I am quite aware of that."

I felt something on my cheek, wet. Something that wasn't supposed to be there.

_The Game doesn't cry._

Shawn tried to crack a smile but he couldn't. "Even The Game cries." He said.  
"Only if there's a good reason." I grunted.  
"I'm glad to be considered a good reason." Shawn said, his hand wiping away the one tear that refused to stay where it belonged.  
"Does it change anything?"  
He shook his head. "No Paul, nothing will change my decision."  
"Fine."

**  
So long, this is goodbye  
May we meet again in another life  
Like strangers passing by  
May we see clearly in a different light**

"I'm gonna miss you." I said, breaking the silence.  
"I will miss you too..." Shawn smirked. "Damn it Paul, I'm not going to die or anything."  
"I know, but you don't want to see me for a while..."  
"We need to get over this Paulie, I do feel the same, remember?"  
"Yeah." I sighed. "Shouldn't you go?"  
Shawn nodded. "Are you going to be okay?" He asked, looking slightly worried.  
"Of course, I'm The Game."  
"How could I forget..."

_Speak up, speak up, awkward silence!_

"Shawn I-"  
"Paul, listen-"

Laughter.

_Oh fuck, I can't take this._

"I eh... I'll call you once I think it's safe." Shawn said.

I nodded and hesitated for a second before embracing the Heartbreak Kid for the last time.  
Well, the last time for a while.  
Shawn shifted in my arms and returned my hug. His lips softly touched my chin before he broke free from the embrace and took a step back.

"See ya later." He said and turned around.

I watched him walk away and went back into the building after I watched his figure disappear behind the corner.

When I reached the lockerroom I stopped trying to hold back the damn tears and let myself go a little.

**Oh...  
The rivers from your eyes can't change my mind.**


End file.
